This is something Joe and I have been saying in jest A Lot lately.
I’ve found it extremely difficult to find/ fight for joy this Christmas season. Joe has done really well with treatment, our family was near-ish, we had a few really great game nights, but in the scheme of what “American Christmas” is, ours was a far cry. Due to an unfortunate cold our family was completely isolated from one another both on Christmas Eve and Christmas day. I was left feeling angry and jealous of what “should be”. Knowing, in the same breath, that I so often miss the mark on what Christmas actually is.
I’ve known for awhile that America’s Christmas agenda has it wrong. However, when I was left with no Christmas Eve church service, family, food and most importantly presents to celebrate on Christmas day I was surprised by my own unwillingness to recognize the day at all. I honestly felt in some small way that without those things there was no point to Christmas and I feel ashamed.
It made me question if I’ve ever Really celebrated Christ’s birth. Thinking about this in my own isolation made me think about Mary and Joseph. Until, now I’ve never stopped and thought about how isolated they must have felt. They were forced, as newlyweds, to run away from home with an “illegitimate baby” on the way. They had to sleep in a filthy barn and give birth and raise (with no help from friends or family near) the savior of the world… no pressure.
These last few days, while they have been filled with longing and grief for what “it should have been”, I have spent some time intentionally thinking about all that we still have. We are back together now. The cold and crud has passed through without getting to Joe (Huge Praise), Arleigh has had a ball visiting cousins, and we have been absolutely lavished by love in the form of letters and gifts from all of you. Although I would give anything to have this not be our reality it has opened my eyes to love that surrounds us.
So for all of that, thank you. Thank you for your willingness to take on a part of our burden to pray and walk through this journey with us. I’m sure I will never be able to adequately express my gratitude. I intend to write another post soon with more medical updates, but Christmas has been on my heart and I wanted to share. My prayer is that you had a Christmas filled with joy and that we could all find thankfulness in the “most wonderful time of the year”.
I’ve known for awhile that America’s Christmas agenda has it wrong. However, when I was left with no Christmas Eve church service, family, food and most importantly presents to celebrate on Christmas day I was surprised by my own unwillingness to recognize the day at all. I honestly felt in some small way that without those things there was no point to Christmas and I feel ashamed.
It made me question if I’ve ever Really celebrated Christ’s birth. Thinking about this in my own isolation made me think about Mary and Joseph. Until, now I’ve never stopped and thought about how isolated they must have felt. They were forced, as newlyweds, to run away from home with an “illegitimate baby” on the way. They had to sleep in a filthy barn and give birth and raise (with no help from friends or family near) the savior of the world… no pressure.
These last few days, while they have been filled with longing and grief for what “it should have been”, I have spent some time intentionally thinking about all that we still have. We are back together now. The cold and crud has passed through without getting to Joe (Huge Praise), Arleigh has had a ball visiting cousins, and we have been absolutely lavished by love in the form of letters and gifts from all of you. Although I would give anything to have this not be our reality it has opened my eyes to love that surrounds us.
So for all of that, thank you. Thank you for your willingness to take on a part of our burden to pray and walk through this journey with us. I’m sure I will never be able to adequately express my gratitude. I intend to write another post soon with more medical updates, but Christmas has been on my heart and I wanted to share. My prayer is that you had a Christmas filled with joy and that we could all find thankfulness in the “most wonderful time of the year”.
