I’m sitting here staring at my computer screen, changing my background music and fidgeting with my rings trying to figure out how to write this.
These four little words, they are choking me.
The cancer is back.
Well, to be clear, we are not sure if it’s a relapse or if it’s a whole new cancer. But there is cancer. In Joe’s marrow. Again.
I have never been fond of the phrase “it’s not fair” but right now I couldn’t care less. It isn't fair!
The good news is we have an action plan. I know that doesn’t sound like much, but I honestly thought that if the cancer came back we have no options left. Joe will start chemo, yet again, on Monday. Since he has had so much over the past 9 months they will do a “gentle” approach. We will thankfully be able to have this treatment done as an outpatient in Asheville. He will have 5 consecutive days of injections a month for 6 months. Then depending on which cancer (relapse or a new leukemia) he will either get a boost from his sister or we will have to find a new donor and he will have another transplant.
Typing this out, thinking about starting over from square one, it’s too much. I just feel like there is no way we can do this. But I just have to take a step back, know that our God is bigger than this and take one day at a time. Thankfully all we have to do is today and His mercies are new in the morning. I didn’t think we could survive all we have thus far, but somehow we’re still standing…. maybe on days like today, curled up in the fetal position is more accurate. Either way we’re still here. Together.
Thank you for all your love and prayers. They play a huge part in how we are enduring this. On the days I have no words to pray, I can trust that we have people calling out to God on our behalf.
The cancer is back.
Well, to be clear, we are not sure if it’s a relapse or if it’s a whole new cancer. But there is cancer. In Joe’s marrow. Again.
I have never been fond of the phrase “it’s not fair” but right now I couldn’t care less. It isn't fair!
The good news is we have an action plan. I know that doesn’t sound like much, but I honestly thought that if the cancer came back we have no options left. Joe will start chemo, yet again, on Monday. Since he has had so much over the past 9 months they will do a “gentle” approach. We will thankfully be able to have this treatment done as an outpatient in Asheville. He will have 5 consecutive days of injections a month for 6 months. Then depending on which cancer (relapse or a new leukemia) he will either get a boost from his sister or we will have to find a new donor and he will have another transplant.
Typing this out, thinking about starting over from square one, it’s too much. I just feel like there is no way we can do this. But I just have to take a step back, know that our God is bigger than this and take one day at a time. Thankfully all we have to do is today and His mercies are new in the morning. I didn’t think we could survive all we have thus far, but somehow we’re still standing…. maybe on days like today, curled up in the fetal position is more accurate. Either way we’re still here. Together.
Thank you for all your love and prayers. They play a huge part in how we are enduring this. On the days I have no words to pray, I can trust that we have people calling out to God on our behalf.
